tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7795869707174122423.post4402540953623784861..comments2024-03-05T23:19:32.879-08:00Comments on Diary of a Slutty Feminist: What the hell am I doing?Diary of a Slutty Feministhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02199655527413695167noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7795869707174122423.post-49929296607712656822013-11-15T13:14:55.434-08:002013-11-15T13:14:55.434-08:00You are welcome. That's an interesting sentime...You are welcome. That's an interesting sentiment that even we men have had with women who just aren't that into us. We wish they'd do something definitive to let us know what we already do if we were honest with ourselves. It's just an excuse to kick the can down the road, projecting glimmers of hope where there are none. <br /><br />Also interesting that you consider this guys non interest a blow to your ego. So there's some work to be done there with why you do not feel yourself worthy of someone better. That's a clumsy way to put it, we all have our faults and flaws. Perhaps someone who loves themselves enough to know how to shine some of that love, interest and respect on you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7795869707174122423.post-1890954856910622892013-11-12T11:21:51.961-08:002013-11-12T11:21:51.961-08:00Indeed. Thanks for the male insight. I have to adm...Indeed. Thanks for the male insight. I have to admit somewhat of a blow to my ego, but I think this will help me MOVE ON and get back some long-lost self-respect... my brain has always known he's not worth my time, but my self-control has been on hiatus for awhile now. Thanks again... I wish he had the balls to be this honest, but failing that, at least good to know another man does.Diary of a Slutty Feministhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02199655527413695167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7795869707174122423.post-84713879151969703672013-11-12T09:12:46.536-08:002013-11-12T09:12:46.536-08:00Wow. Thanks for the male insight! Love it. Makes s...Wow. Thanks for the male insight! Love it. Makes sense. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7795869707174122423.post-71325773109577013332013-11-11T22:48:15.997-08:002013-11-11T22:48:15.997-08:00Circling back to this post in order to discuss the...Circling back to this post in order to discuss the generalities of what is happening here. There really is no simpler way to put this than the title of the book, "He's Just Not That Into You". A man that is interested will do almost anything to be with or near a woman he truly wants. The pursuit makes us do dumb things. Feeling down but you live three states from me? I can make the drive in less than 10 hours. You live in Europe? Iceland Air has very reasonable flights, be there in that same 10 hours, maybe less. Or better yet, come here, now. Your ticket is waiting. This is what a guy who is interested does. A woman need not beg, cajole, wonder endlessly, none of that. We will walk over, through or around just about anything to be with you. Truly. We. Make. It. Happen.<br /><br />But when we're not that into you or worse, lack the self awareness, maturity and discipline to say no, you end up with the kind of experience that you are currently having. You, the woman get strung along and we the guy don't have to do that much work to keep the tension on the line. Now, I don't know this guy, and only have your description of his actions, but to my shame, I recognize some of those actions, especially in my younger self. I simply wasn't interested and I didn't like myself for it but instead of doing something about it, doing some inner work, discovery, whatever, the woman got the brunt of my laziness and self loathing. I recognize his actions in many of my male friends as well. The work they'd do for a woman they really wanted vs the behavior they would exhibit for a woman who made herself available no matter how many times she was kicked so to speak.<br /><br />I wish I could give you a definitive answer as to why guys generally do this, but I can't. Every guys reasons are a different percentage of the "Do Not (really) Want" pie but the results are pretty consistent. You bear the brunt.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7795869707174122423.post-31254582892802888042013-11-11T22:46:41.595-08:002013-11-11T22:46:41.595-08:00Circling back to this post in order to discuss the...Circling back to this post in order to discuss the generalities of what is happening here. There really is no simpler way to put this than the title of the book, "He's Just Not That Into You". A man that is interested will do almost anything to be with or near a woman he truly wants. The pursuit makes us do dumb things. Feeling down but you live three states from me? I can make the drive in less than 10 hours. You live in Europe? Iceland Air has very reasonable flights, be there in that same 10 hours, maybe less. Or better yet, come here, now. Your ticket is waiting. This is what a guy who is interested does. A woman need not beg, cajole, wonder endlessly, none of that. We will walk over, through or around just about anything to be with you. Truly. We. Make. It. Happen.<br /><br />But when we're not that into you or worse, lack the self awareness, maturity and discipline to say no, you end up with the kind of experience that you are currently having. You, the woman get strung along and we the guy don't have to do that much work to keep the tension on the line. Now, I don't know this guy, and only have your description of his actions, but to my shame, I recognize some of those actions, especially in my younger self. I simply wasn't interested and I didn't like myself for it but instead of doing something about it, doing some inner work, discovery, whatever, the woman got the brunt of my laziness and self loathing. I recognize his actions in many of my male friends as well. The work they'd do for a woman they really wanted vs the behavior they would exhibit for a woman who made herself available no matter how many times she was kicked so to speak.<br /><br />I wish I could give you a definitive answer as to why guys generally do this, but I can't. Every guys reasons are a different percentage of the "Do Not (really) Want" pie but the results are pretty consistent. You bear the brunt.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7795869707174122423.post-47279896271394570622013-11-07T10:12:53.185-08:002013-11-07T10:12:53.185-08:00mission creep. mission creep. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7795869707174122423.post-5939588010963171552013-11-06T17:26:49.263-08:002013-11-06T17:26:49.263-08:00Oh boy. Well...the first thing that popped into my...Oh boy. Well...the first thing that popped into my head reading this was the Maya Angelou quote, "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." There is absolutely nothing charitable, loving or giving about the way this guy treats you. You are an afterthought to him. So, that said, I think you understand that this will not end well for you but are nevertheless committed to finding out just how bad and emotionally destructive (to yourself) that end can be.<br /><br />When he is drunk and tells you he loves your face (as creepy a comment as I've ever heard and it should have sent you running and screaming from the room) that's not because his ego won't let him admit he likes you. It's because he loathes himself. What he loves about your face is that it will show up to take more of his abuse and mistreatment. Stop worrying about his non existent raw potential and the very real raw potential and time that you will not get back pursuing this. <br /><br />You've got him right where he doesn't quite want you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com